Sunday, December 26, 2010

Fudge Buckets It Happened Again This Christmas!

Christmas 2010, even worse than last year because of one single relative.
Yes, that one single relative who tried over three times this year to pick a fight with my husband.
Thankfully he just ignored her each and every time she tried to get him to say something back to start a big old rip roar. 
She even went as far to call our dogs "Sh_ts" to try and get a response out of my husband and couldn't.  Thing is she's never met our dogs and they weren't with us at the in laws, but her little dog sure was.  We were just talking about dogs and how our dogs interact with each other sometimes and
she went on the attack.  Then she's telling us our newest dog will run away because of the breed it is, etc...  We didn't say a thing.  We let her have her mini verbal tantrum.
Then I started helping mom-in-law (Let me clarify mom-in-law is not my husband or sister-in-laws biological mother.  She married my father-in-law long after his first wife had passed away.) setting the table etc., and brother-in-law who is very nice, carved the turkey. 
I feel very sorry for my brother-in-law who is married to my husband's sister.  He has to put up with
her nonsense all the time.  I don't know how he does it.  He has two different serious health problems now, still works, then comes home to do everything and on top of it puts up with her behaviors.
Bipolar Disease is what she has, but I don't think it's that disease that is causing all of her behaviors all of the time.  I think she enjoys being snotty and mean and hurting every one's feelings but her Dad's. 
I am so thankful my father-in-law can barely hear, because he really gets upset when she cusses and
says mean things.  He seems to just focus in on the TV and tunes out everything else that's going on.
She seemed to calm down during the meal at the table, probably because her beloved Daddy was sitting close enough to hear her and see her behave.
After dinner, the Father-in-law quickly returned to his favorite chair in the living room and back to watching sports on TV as usual.  My husband joined him.
The rest of us stayed around the table talking about various things.
Soon she tried to pick a fight with me, slamming my political party, though I hadn't brought anything up about politics.  I know better than to do that. 
I was just talking about how I thought our state might end up with a drought this year and mom-in-law said she hoped we didn't turn into a dust bowl like in the depression.
Sis-in-law said she thought we would have a depression caused by such and such political party and by a certain religious group.  I thought to myself your so full of nonsense.  She always tries to blame
things going on in the world on certain classes of people.  Yet, we let her go on for awhile and no one
said a thing.  We didn't want her to start cussing loud and upset her Dad.
Now her husband, my mom-in-law and I helped start clearing the table.  She stood by and watched us, then took a seat on a bar stool near a side of the kitchen and watched us. 
We're putting things away.  My brother-in-law asked if my mother-in-law wanted to save I think it was a piece of aluminum foil.  My mom-in-law couldn't even say anything when sis-in-law says quite loudly I thought, "No, No, you know she doesn't save anything!  You know she thinks recycling is a waste of time and she can't be bothered helping the earth!  No, you know how she is!"
My mom-in-law got out a "What?"  Then her husband got out "________(sis-in-law's first name) Pleas."  Sis-in-law didn't let him finish, she interrupted glared at him like she'd kill him if he finished or said one more word.  He stopped in his tracks.  Mom-in-law started to say, "Now what are you trying to do, sass"  she didn't get to finish either.
Sis-in-law interrupted her, pointed her finger at mom-in-law, angrily looked at her and said "Shut up, I never liked you anyways."
Mom-in-law had enough, emotionally hurt and I could tell near tears she said, "That's enough.  I won't be talked to like this is my own home.  I never said I wouldn't recycle."
Sis-in-law snobbishly said back while flinging her arms up in the air, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever sh_t you say.  We know.  We know and I'll say the truth because that's what it is the truth."
I tried to be a break point, so I  physically  stood between where my sis-in-law and mother-in-law so they couldn't see each others faces.
Facing my mom-in-law I asked her where she kept the plastic wrap.  I thought I'd interrupt the flow of talk between the two of them to calm it down a bit.
Then sis-in-law looks at her husband, I think wanting  him to back her up verbally.  Thankfully he said, "Hey we need to think about getting on the road because we have people coming over later to our house for dessert and a get together."
Apparently my father-in-law heard none of her outburst, but my husband who was also in the living room and further away than my father-in-law sure did.  Thankfully he stayed out of it.  He did say though he thought he'd have to come in if he saw his sister hit anyone, but she didn't do that.
So brother-in-law (poor thing) got her to get the presents they were given and the dog and go and take them out to their vehicle.  He then apologized to my mom-in-law and told her that she (sis-in-law) was getting worse and acting like this with everyone now.  Mom-in-law told him she didn't know how he was able to put up with it and said that people should stop letting her get away with it.
After they'd left, I stayed for a bit and helped mom-in-law with the cleaning up a bit more, but then even though things weren't done she just wanted us to go too.  I think she just needed to have a private cry.  What my sis-in-law said really hurt her deeply. 
Let me tell you my mom-in-law is a very nice person.  She invited them to her home.  She was a polite hostess.  Everything started, was started by the sis-in-law, as usual.
So later on mom-in-law called me on the phone to thank me for helping her get things on the table and cleaning up afterwards.  We decided on the phone we won't be having Christmas or any other holidays with sis-in-law invited anymore.  She talked to father-in-law and let him know what happened since he can't hear well.  Note the in laws are past their mid eighties.  Father-in-law told Mom-in-law that he'd told her they shouldn't have had any one over this year since mom-in-law had been hospitalized twice in the last three months.  Which we were never informed of and wish we had been so we could have visited her in the hospital.  She didn't tell me what she'd been hospitalized for and I didn't pry.  I know of a couple of medical conditions she does struggle with and I figured it was one of the two.  She said she did this for father-in-law so he could see his children.  He said "No more."
Thankfully he's on the same page with her. 
I told mom-in-law that next year, if they don't go to Thanksgiving or Christmas with her children, then our little family will either have Christmas at our home and not invite sis-in-law or we will take them out without inviting sis-in-law.
I told her we'd probably take them out to eat so they wouldn't have to deal with our dogs who get a bit crazy when visitors are around.
Granted probably have to go out to a Chinese Restaurant on Christmas, but they serve a nice Duck.
So next year if the nice, but small Jewish Community in our area sees a little group of Gentiles at the
nice Chinese Restaurant  on Christmas day, it might just be us.
Here's  to a nicer and none Bipolar outbursting holiday celebrations in 2011.


  1. Wow... sorry Im late seeing this. Sorry you had to deal with that. I hope the New Year has found you doing well. :)

  2. Oh dear, I'm sorry this happened. I have a Bi-polar SIL too. I feel for you. Sometimes cutting them out of the picture is the best way of letting them know that their behavior is unacceptable, which may be the only way of getting through to her...or not. How funny, my verification word is ingrat!