Sunday, September 5, 2010

Slept Most Of The Day

I was so sick last night with my achalasia.  Severe, wrenching spasms all the way from the top of my intestinal system to the end.  I couldn't help it, but even though I have this often and should be used to it, I cried my eyes out for over an hour last night. 
I didn't sleep in the same room as my husband last night because he went to bed really early for him and I
didn't want to wake him up when I finally went to bed at 11.  Good thing too, because an half-hour later the
spasms started with a roar and didn't end until around 8 this morning.  Between 4 and 5 I broke down and
bawled like a baby.
My husband didn't hear me, he can sleep through anything.  I did think about waking him up and having him
take me to the hospital, but I didn't want to go and really have nothing done, or to be given something I might
have a horrible reaction to like I have had in the past.  I didn't want to end up feeling worse than I already did, though I don't believe I could have felt much worse.
I am still very sore and tender everywhere.  I feel like someone who has done at least a thousand sit-ups with no warm-ups, no conditioning, nothing and had to do them in a rapid fire manner.
I'm still very nauseated too and I still feel weepy, though I'm not letting myself cry.
So today, I let my husband know what went on last night.  He was kind of mad, he said he would have taken me straight to the hospital.  He went to the store and bought me BEANO.  He somehow thinks that will help.
So, I'll give it a try to humor him, but I don't think that has anything to do with anything.  It's the achalasia and the genetic nerve/muscle thing again.  I went through it last week and the week before, I just never told him and he was at work those times.
Any Doctor that thinks giving someone with this condition a Heller Myotomy with a Dor Fundoplication surgery on the cardiac sphincter muscle is going to make the pain/discomfort/spasms etc. related to achalasia
go away or even tolerable is so off the mark.  I still often have the heart attack feeling pains from this condition, and now more and more often the full digestive tract spasms that truly double a person over and
don't just last a few minutes, but truly hours on hours.
Anyways, enough whine, whine, whine, it doesn't do any good anyways, my Dear, Sweetheart of a Husband didn't expect anything from me today.  He did it all (thank Goodness it was his day off).  He even went and got the BEANO hoping it will help, and did the meals, took care of everyone and the dogs.  He let me go
to back to bed whenever I wanted and let me have the house temperature where I wanted.  See he likes it
warmer than me most of the time, so it was very comforting to have the house a little cooler to make me
feel better.
I am so fortunate to have a man like this in my life.  One that doesn't expect the world out of me when I'm
in a bad way, even with those bad ways coming more and more frequently again like when I first got ill with this disease.  A genetic nerve/muscle condition that hits with spasms many places in my body including the areas that the achalasia include.  No one has given me a name for it specifically.  They won't test me for
two diseases I think may be causing this.  I'm glad I have a husband who believes me and gets what I've
been going through, because the uncaring Doctor's at Fort Carson that I've seen certainly do not.  Well,
one did, but he's not stationed there anymore.  This is the only health insurance we can afford, it's through
the government, and all I can say is government run health insurance isn't going to be cracked up to what
everyone thinks it's going to be.  I can attest to that already.  You get what you get and then you suffer
unless they deem you one of the valuable people.  A retired military persons spouse isn't one of the
valuable people.  The active duty men and women who are serving are valuable, but the rest of us be
D_____.  I don't like to cuss, but one can figure out what the rest of the word is meant to be.
Well I'm still wiped from last night, drained of all of my energy, which I have little of anyways, so I'll
be going to bed early, just hope I can sleep and get re-energized.  I hope no repeat performances tonight.
For those of you who can sleep and get rested, you truly need to give God a prayer of thanks for that
luxury, because for those of us out here who often can't we know it is a true blessing from the Lord.


  1. Oh, friend, I will be praying for you. Hang in there, dear.

  2. I hope you feel better. Rest is good.